


Extraordinary

by kxminxri



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, Songfic, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:14:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24661357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kxminxri/pseuds/kxminxri
Summary: Surely, it was just a spur of the moment decision. Things will be normal tomorrow, they’ll just pretend like it never happened, and Tsukishima will spend a stupid amount of time overthinking it but it’ll still be fine.If Yamaguchi had meant it when he kissed him, then wouldn't he have stuck around afterwards rather than running away?In which Tsukishima is reminded yet again of why he doesn’t put effort into things that will inevitably fail, and then realizes why he should.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 148





	Extraordinary

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So, I haven't written fanfiction in a very long time, but I saw this concept on TikTok from many creators, but mostly goblinzgore (go show them some love!) and I just couldn't help myself. This is also based off of the song Heather by Conan Gray- it should go without saying, but I do NOT by ANY MEANS have any rights to this song. Please don't get me in trouble lol.

Tsukishima Kei does not consider himself extraordinary in any way, shape, or form. He’s not the main character of some made up story, and he certainly shouldn’t be considered some kind of idol or hero just for calling a few bullies pathetic.

That’s just what they are. Why should he be praised for telling someone a blatant fact about themselves?

Except, Yamaguchi started to think the absolute  _ world _ of him for that exact reason. At first, Tsukishima hadn’t blinked twice about the shorter boy who started to follow him around, looking at him like he had put every little star in the sky with his own bare hands. It’s not the first time that someone has attempted to become friends with him, and it most likely won’t be the last, either. He decided that he’ll just have to do what he always does; he’ll tease, and give this kid the cold shoulder, and treat him as if he’s no different than anybody else, because he  _ isn’t _ .

The only difference with Yamaguchi though, was that none of that worked. Days passed by, and then a week, and before Tsukishima knew it, the school year was nearly over and he still had the dark-haired boy trailing after him constantly. It was beyond irritating. What was even more irritating though, was that Tsukishima was actually beginning to be able to tolerate Yamaguchi’s presence. As if he had the time or the effort to worry about something as trivial as friendship. Why should he invest time and taxing emotion into something that will surely, inevitably end in heartache and failure? He’s not stupid like Akiteru. He refuses to fall to the same fate, even at such a young age. 

As they entered middle school, the reassurance that Yamaguchi would always be there easily lured him into an exhilaratingly natural friendship. It was absolutely effortless to be friends with Yamaguchi, and that fact alone was what made Tsukishima decide that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to keep him around.

So he allowed himself to actually engage in conversation with Yamaguchi, and the rest is history. They began to eat lunch together, and walk to and from school together. They fell into a nice and comforting routine. All of his days began to revolve around Yamaguchi, and he was dumb enough to let it happen. He let the other boy convince him to spend time at each other’s houses outside of school, and spend entire weekends together. The two of them grew closer than Tsukishima has allowed anyone to ever get. By the time that middle school was ending, one was hardly ever seen without the other.

When Tsukishima told his friend that he had applied to Karasuno High, he had just smiled and said okay. The next day, Tsukishima was informed that Yamaguchi had done the same. 

Things were good. Things were stable, they were  _ fine _ . 

Things got significantly less fine when Tsukishima began to notice the dramatic increase in his heart rate whenever his childhood friend leaned too close, and how his palms began to sweat whenever he saw that blinding smile. Whenever he would try to sleep at night, he was haunted by the echoing yells of “Tsuki!” that have managed to follow him for so many years without any previous issues.

No matter how much he prefers to repress his feelings and ignore them under any costs, he’s not as idiotic as his teammates; he’s able to recognize romantic feelings where they’re due.

True to form though, he ignores it. He goes on with his life, and he doesn’t speak up about it. There’s no point in confessing feelings that will never be reciprocated. He doesn’t need the one stable thing in his life to crash and burn right when he’s just starting to get comfortable. Tsukishima quickly made the decision that nobody, especially Yamaguchi, can ever know about how he feels.

The world does not stop turning just because he realizes his silly little crush. He wakes up, goes to practice, goes to school, goes  _ back _ to practice, and then he goes home. That’s his life, it’s simple and it’s easy.

“Alright guys, good work! Same time tomorrow, let’s clean up so we can head home!” Daichi will never disappoint with saying the same words after every practice. 

“Yes, sir!” Several voices overlap with the same response. 

Tsukishima was, as always, not in the mood to stick around. When he glances over at the door longingly, Sugawara gives him a pointed look, and that’s motivation enough for him to sigh and grab a broom. There’s the sound of bounding footsteps behind him, and then suddenly a familiar and warm presence is beside him. “Don’t be too bummed Tsuki, it won’t take long!” Sure enough, when he looks over he’s greeted by the bright smile of Yamaguchi. Tsukishima almost instantly looks away again, feigning disinterest and instead thrusting a broom in the shorter boy’s direction. “Just get to cleaning so we can go.”

Even Tsukishima himself isn’t sure why sticking around the extra ten minutes bothers him so much, it always flies by like it was nothing at all. It likely has to do with the fact that he knows cleaning stands in the way of him gaining alone time with Tadashi, and that irritates him almost as much as a certain orange-haired middle blocker.

He doesn’t like to think of it that way, though. It makes him feel more vulnerable than he’s comfortable with, even in the privacy of his own thoughts.

Before he knows it though, he’s walking out of the gym and walking up the stairs towards the club room that’s grown to be a shockingly comforting setting for him, despite how it’s often filled with the rowdiness of everybody else. Yamaguchi isn’t far behind, continuing to ramble despite getting minimal responses from Tsukishima as he does so. Frankly, he doesn’t care about what they’re talking about in the slightest. The thing that Tsukishima finds intriguing is how Yamaguchi almost seems nervous, stumbling over his words occasionally and avoiding eye contact. In all their years of being friends, Tsukishima is quite sure that he’s never seen the other so hesitant to just be talking.

Tsukishima decided that he definitely didn’t like it. Should he ask Yamaguchi about what’s bothering him on their walk home? That conversation would likely be far more intimate and personal than Tsukishima is willing to go, but it’s not like he can just leave his friend like that in good conscience. He wasn’t sure what else to do other than bite the bullet and ask about it.

But as they grab their bags and begin their usual walk home, he couldn’t force the words out of his mouth, which wasn’t good at all because it seemed that the farther they went, the more anxious Yamaguchi was getting. They were still just talking about random, meaningless topics that meant absolutely nothing to Tsukishima, but he didn’t bother trying to divert to anything that would interest him. He just continued to glance over at Yamaguchi every once and a while, watching the steady incline of his obvious anxiety. It wasn’t until they got to the street corner where they had to part ways that Tsukishima gathered enough will to ask.

“So-”

“What’s your deal?”

Yamaguchi blinks and finally turns to  _ look _ at Tsukishima for what felt like the first time in the entire day, giving a nervous smile that grated at the taller boy’s patience. What could he possibly be so  _ scared _ about?   
  


“Uh.. well, I was going to- ask you something? But now that I think about it, it’s not that important.”

Tsukishima is silent for a few moments before sighing and speaking as calmly as he could manage. “Just spit it out already, I’m tired.”  _ If it’s affecting you this much, it’s important. _

That nervous smile on Yamaguchi’s face is replaced with a small frown, and he starts fidgeting on his feet and avoiding eye contact all over again. “Tsuki, seriously, it’s not that big a deal.”

“Can you just tell me already, Yamaguchi?” He will never admit this to a single soul in the world, but he was getting nervous himself. What could possibly be affecting Yamaguchi so much? Something had to be wrong, and it will drive him absolutely crazy if he doesn’t find out what. “If it’s not important, then it shouldn’t be so hard to go ahead and share.”

There are several tense, silent moments where nothing happens. The world goes still, and for those few seconds it’s only them. Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, and the stop sign standing tall next to them, waiting in anticipation for what was going to come next. 

Tsukishima Kei does not consider himself extraordinary in any way, shape, or form. He is not the main character of some made up story.

But he certainly feels like he is when Yamaguchi stands on his toes, grabs his face, and tugs him into a kiss instead of answering. It doesn’t last long at all, their lips are chapped, and their teeth click together a little bit. In all honesty, it’s not much of a first kiss, but that won’t change the fact that it still  _ is _ Tsukishima’s first one.

He never gets the chance to kiss back. He doesn’t even get the chance to consider it, the kiss ends just as quickly as it started, and when he opens his eyes (when had he closed them?) he’s met with the sight of a red-faced Yamaguchi. 

Tsukishima is given approximately half of a second to consider just how cute that is, before the other boy had to go and ruin it by opening his mouth.

“I-I’m so sorry! Oh my god, pretend that never happened, don’t hate me please-”

“Yamaguchi.”

“Seriously, I didn’t think it through-”

“ _ Yamaguchi _ .”

“It was a mistake, I shouldn’t have done that.”

That’s what made Tsukishima stop. A shattering, aching feeling in his chest knocks the breath out of him, feeling almost as harsh as watching Yamaguchi take one step, two steps back, putting distance between them and shaking his head a little. 

“I’m.. I’m sorry.”

Tsukishima watches silently as his best friend spins around on his heel, stumbling before running away as fast as he could manage. 

This is why.  _ This is why _ Tsukishima decided long ago that he would never, ever put effort into anything that had even the slightest chance of letting him down in the end. He was stupid to think that this would be an exception.

Tsukishima presses his lips into a thin line, tugs his headphones over his ears, and continues on his way home. He hardly remembers the journey, but he does remember the look of concern on his mother’s face when he brushes past her with just a mumbled goodnight. His bedroom door is shut and locked firmly behind himself, and he is alone once again. All is quiet other than the music blaring in his ears, but even that was cut short when he yanks the headphones off and tosses them onto his desk without a care in the world. He changes into sleep clothes as if he was moving robotically, and it’s only when he crawls under his blankets that he allows himself to actually think about what just happened.

Yamaguchi kissed him. On the lips. Yamaguchi kissed him on the lips. Yamaguchi kissed-

Okay, that part was hard enough for him to process. After that, Yamaguchi hadn’t even let him get a word out before claiming it to be a mistake and running away faster than Tsukishima had ever seen him move. Surely, it was just a spur of the moment decision. Things will be normal tomorrow, they’ll just pretend like it never happened, and Tsukishima will spend a stupid amount of time overthinking it but it’ll still be fine. 

That’s what he told himself as he fell asleep. 

Tsukishima isn’t quite sure what he expected to happen the next morning, but it definitely wasn’t for Yamaguchi to not show up at their usual meeting spot so they could walk to practice together. He doesn’t let it bother him. He walks alone for the first time since school started.

When he arrives at the gym, everyone turns to greet him and Yamaguchi, only to fall short when they notice that half of the pair is missing. Tsukishima blatantly ignores every question of where his friend is, only shrugging when Daichi and Suga question him. 

Yamaguchi never shows up. It’s only then that Tsukishima lets his typical, pessimistic side kick in. This can only mean one thing, right? The one one time that Tsukishima actually  _ tries _ with something, it’s coming back around to bite him in the ass.

Despite coming to that conclusion, it didn’t really hit him until school started and he didn’t see Yamaguchi at all during the entire day. He knew that the other boy was  _ at _ school, which meant that Yamaguchi was avoiding him. They didn’t meet up for lunch, and they didn’t walk to classes together. There was only radio silence.

Tsukishima pretended with every bit of himself that it didn’t bother him in the slightest.

The first time he sees Yamaguchi the entire day is during after school practice. He’s chatting it up with Asahi on the other side of the gym, not even glancing over when Tsukishima walked in. The worst part was that Yamaguchi didn’t look affected at all. He was still smiling and laughing and didn’t seem like he had a single care in the world.

Tsukishima took a volleyball to the face more than once during that practice. He missed receives and messed up serves countless times, brushing off everyone who expressed concern. When practice is declared to be over, he ignores the orders to stay behind and help clean. He turns, grabs his bag, and walks out of the gym doors faster than he ever has. Nobody tries to stop him, and he’s not sure whether that makes him feel better or worse.

The gravity of what he just did was lost on Tsukishima until he was already halfway home. It’s not like nobody noticed the change between him and Yamaguchi, he could feel everyone staring and hear the hushed whispers all day long, but he wasn’t supposed to show that it was affecting him so badly.

Tsukishima quickly decides that this is all purely ridiculous. Why the hell is this one thing turning his entire world upside down? He hasn’t felt like this much of a mess in a very long time, and it was frustrating him to absolutely no end. 

It isn’t until hours later when he’s laying in bed, unable to sleep with how fast his mind was racing, that he finally comes to a moment of clarity. The revelation is small yet groundbreaking at the same time. 

He  _ loves  _ Yamaguchi. 

No, he  _ loved _ him. Past tense, because Tsukishima absolutely refuses to accept not being able to move on from his childhood friend. That’s all they’ve ever been, so he can handle being far less than that.

This routine of avoiding and ignoring each other goes on for days, much longer than any of their teammates would imagine it would last. Everyone had been so wrongfully sure that they would make up in no time. That assumption couldn’t be farther from right, as it turns out. Tsukishima spends a week going about his day alone, keeping to himself and never once staying after practice to clean up. Sometimes, he didn’t even go to practice in the first place. 

Sugawara was the most worried out of anybody, and that fact was as clear as day. Tsukishima can see him talking to an uncomfortable Yamaguchi on occasion, a serious expression on his face as their co-captain tried his hardest to figure out what had happened. Not to mention that he’s attempted to have the same conversation with Tsuki more times than the blonde can count, but he is far less tolerant of serious talks about himself and his feelings, unlike Yamaguchi. Suga was always shut down before he could get very far.

The third year started to try and send other teammates to do his dirty work for him, but nobody could even get a word out of Tsukishima. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to sit down and ‘let it all out’ or even admit what had happened at all. If he’s taking several volleyballs to the face every single practice because he’s so exhausted from not being able to sleep, then that’s Tsukishima’s  _ own  _ business. 

They certainly don’t need to know that his insomnia is due to the haunting ghost of their (actually rather terrible) kiss, along with the echo of Yamaguchi’s words immediately afterwards.

_ “It was a mistake..” _

Tsukishima will never admit to a single soul that on the fourth day, he realized just how unaccustomed to loneliness he was. Yamaguchi had always been there, trailing after him and keeping him company. At some point though, Tsukishima had looked up one day and suddenly  _ he _ was the one trailing after Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi, who won’t even look at him now. Who seems perfectly fine with what is happening, who doesn’t seem lonely, or sleep deprived, or bothered at all. Rather than that making Tsukishima angry like he thought it would, it only made his chest ache. 

Love is not fair. The list of things that he loves in this life is very short, he could count on one hand.

  1. Dinosaurs. Obviously.
  2. His mom
  3. Strawberry shortcake
  4. Yamaguchi, unfortunately



He is very sure that he doesn’t love volleyball, not like Hinata and Kageyama who wouldn’t be able to breathe properly without the stupid sport. He likes it better than he used to, sure, but he is far from loving it. His brother was kicked off of the list for obvious reasons, though these days Akiteru seems to be trying harder than ever to make it back on.

None of that matters though. What matters is that the list is short, and he has perfectly good and logical reasons for keeping it that way.

Walking to school alone in the rain on the eighth day of being ignored by his best friend is a very good example.

His mom had forced him to bring an umbrella, so he thankfully doesn’t show up to school soaking wet like a lot of his classmates do. It’s winter, so even with his warm school uniform and an umbrella, Tsukishima was about to start shivering by the time he walked into his classroom. Needless to say, it was cold.

As always, he didn’t see Yamaguchi at all during the school day. He doesn’t even try to look for the other boy anymore, Tsukishima has just accepted that he’s officially a loner again. It ends up raining all day long, the raindrops still pattering down incessantly when the final bell rang. He sighs and stands to his feet, gathering his things as slow as possible. He has never dreaded volleyball practice more than he has been for the past week.

Maybe.. Maybe he should just quit?

That idea hasn’t popped into his mind since before Yamaguchi grabbed him by the shirt and yelled at his face.

_ “What more do you need than pride?” _

It’s not as if Yamaguchi will be attempting to patch things up anytime soon, that much is obvious. Tsukishima has been doing nothing but drag the team down recently anyways, with how distracted and tired he’s been, not sticking around for cleanup or meetings. He hasn’t even been going inside of the club room, opting to change in the bathroom or walk home in his gym clothes. The only reason he’s stuck around for this long is because of Yamaguchi.

He’s made up his mind by the time that he’s at the doors leading towards the gym. He doesn’t change clothes, because he’s only going to walk into practice to tell Daichi and Ukai that he’s quitting.

He never gets that far though. He ducks down and yanks his hand from the doorknob leading outside when he happens to glance out the window of the door, noticing Yamaguchi and Yachi standing mere feet away, underneath the awning to protect themselves from the downpour.

He can’t walk out there now, he’ll just have to wait until they go inside the gym or head to the club room or anywhere that won’t put Tsukishima in their direct line of sight. As he was standing next to the door however, he couldn’t help that overwhelming curiosity as to what they could possibly be doing or talking about. As far as Tsukishima knows, they aren’t super close friends or anything, so it probably has to do with volleyball. Either way, he’s peeking through the window before he can tell himself not to. 

They’re still standing there, both smiling and red-faced and talking peacefully. Yachi was visibly flustered about something, Tsukishima doesn’t know what since he can’t hear what they’re talking about, but he doesn’t have to wonder for long when he notices Yamaguchi starting to dig around in his bag. What could he possibly be looking for-

A sweater is pulled from the depths of Yamaguchi’s bag, and he seems to be flustered too as he hands it to the girl in front of him. Tsukishima watches Yachi hesitate before taking it, still blushing to high heaven as she pulls it on.

Tsukishima doesn’t notice how both of them glance over at the door he’s hiding behind seconds after that, because he’s already storming down the hall in the opposite direction, going as far away from the gym as he could possibly get. When he shakes himself out of whatever daze he had himself in, he realizes that he’s sitting in the stairwell that he and Yamaguchi always used to eat lunch in. He only has approximately two seconds to be upset with himself about that before he remembers what just happened.

For the first time ever, Tsukishima feels absolutely nothing except pure anger towards Yamaguchi. He quickly ignores the underlying feeling of heartbreak that comes along with it.

The logical conclusion is that Yamaguchi and Yachi are interested in each other, perhaps even seeing each other already. It’s not like Tsukishima would know. That isn’t what upset him the most though, at least not right this second.

If Yamaguchi knew that he would go after Yachi, then why in the world would he kiss Tsukishima? What made Yamaguchi think that he had any right to take his first kiss, abandon him, and then go after someone who was the exact opposite of him?

That last part makes him pause his seething. Yachi is his polar opposite, isn’t she? She’s sweet, and nice, and expressive, and  _ pretty _ -

The same shattering feeling that came from hearing  _ “... a mistake…” _ came right in that moment as well. As always though, Tsukishima ignores that and focuses completely on the anger that wanted to boil over and cover up any sense of reason that he had. And perhaps against his better judgement, he let it do exactly that. He didn’t realize what was happening when he stormed outside, past the gym and towards the club room. It was pouring harder than it has all day, and the cold bit at his skin harshly, but he did not  _ care _ .

He wasn’t thinking when he threw open the door to the club room, and he certainly wasn’t thinking when he walked past everyone staring at him in shock, stopping directly in front of the source of every single recent problem he’s had in the past eight days.

For the last time, Tsukishima Kei does not consider himself extraordinary in any way, shape, or form. He’s not the main character of some made up story. However, it's hard to think that way when he’s standing in front of his childhood best friend turned crush, with the  _ entire team  _ watching them, dripping wet and shivering with rainwater as he shook and seethed with anger. 

Tsukishima hasn’t been an emotional person in many years. He’s forgotten what it feels like to just let out his emotions whenever they become too much, to actually reach a breaking point and let everybody know how upset he felt. He expected to feel vulnerable, to back out last minute and just leave, but he didn’t.

“Why would you ever kiss me?” Tsukishima broke the silence, his voice surprisingly firm and not hesitant like he thought it would be. The six words shattered all of his anger instantly, but he grit his teeth and did his absolute best to not show it. He’s not sure if he’s shaking from the cold or the overwhelming rush of emotion that hasn’t managed to touch him since he saw his brother sitting in the bleachers.

The club room was dead silent, and Tsukishima didn’t bother to look around at anyone but Yamaguchi, who looked gobsmacked.

“Wh-”

Tsukishima quickly cuts him off instantly, because if he lets Yamaguchi speak then he will end up losing all of his nerve to do this.

“I’m nothing like her, it isn’t  _ fair _ for you to kiss me and then  _ abandon  _ me so that you can run after someone whose only similarity with me is our damn hair color.”

Yamaguchi’s shock shifted into complete confusion, their eyes never breaking contact. Tsukishima could practically hear Yamaguchi desperately trying to figure out what he was talking about, and that only made him growl in frustration. 

“You gave her your sweater!”

There was a visible break of realization on Yamaguchi’s face, and then slight panic as he started shaking his head and waving his arms around in what appeared to be an early attempt to deny why Tsukishima just said.

“Tsuki, that’s not- it wasn’t a big  _ deal _ -”

Tsukishima pretends like that nickname doesn’t break down every ounce of determination he’d had when he walked in here. He could tell that Yamaguchi was stumbling over his words because he didn’t know how to say what he wanted to, but the words that  _ were _ coming out were the opposite of what Tsukishima wanted to hear right in this moment.

“But you like her better, right?” The overwhelming feeling of being way too vulnerable was apparently only delayed rather than nonexistent, because what was supposed to be a confrontational statement came out as a quiet question. Tsukishima frowns, taking a step back and clenching his fists as he finally broke eye contact with Yamaguchi. He failed to notice how absolutely horrified the other looked.

“ _ Tsuki _ -”

“Forget it, it doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have come here anyways.” Tsukishima puts on that fake self confidence, turning on his heel and looking up to meet Daichi’s eyes and nobody else. “I’m quitting. My uniform is in my locker.”

He walks to the door, and acts like he doesn’t hear the uproar of protest behind him as he opens it and walks out. By the time he makes it to the bottom of the stairs, he starts running. He only stops when his glasses fog up and get too covered in raindrops for him to see properly. He stumbles slightly before yanking them off of his face, leaning against a nearby lamppost and panting as he belatedly realized that he can barely breathe.

He gathers himself a little bit, glancing back and in the direction of the school. Nobody was chasing after him, and he crushes down that inkling of disappointment that bubbles up in his chest when he realizes that. 

Life isn’t a movie, and he doesn’t get make-up conversations and kisses in the rain. It’s idiotic of him to hope for something like that. 

He shoves his glasses in his pocket, and turns to continue toward his house at a walking pace now. He’s angry, and suppressing any sadness that might try and make its way through. There’s no need to be sad. The jealousy is what catches him off guard, though.

_ I wish I was Yachi. _

~

His mom freaked out when he made it home that evening, forcing him to change into dry clothes and have some warm soup. No matter how much he tried to brush her off, it didn’t work. Her overreaction sure made it easier to play sick the next day though. Truth be told, he only had a bit of a sniffle and a small cough when he woke up, but he manages to make it seem like a full blown cold when his mom asks him how he’s feeling. She orders him to stay in bed and get some rest while she goes to work, and he acts like that wasn’t what he had wanted at all.

He can accept being a coward if it means that he doesn’t have to go to school and face the music. He’s seriously considering just moving schools and taking on a new identity.

Staying at home ends up being an amazing choice anyways, because he finally gets caught up on all the sleep that he’s been missing recently. He slept until late afternoon once his mom left for work that morning, and once he wakes up for the second time that day, his growling stomach forces him to get up and shuffle into the kitchen. 

He has no idea what time it is when he’s standing at the counter trying to wonder if eating something other than soup is worth getting scolded by his mom later, but he had just decided that a sandwich is definitely worth a disappointed glance from her when there’s a sharp knock on the front door. Tsukishima nearly jumps out of his skin, glancing over at the source of the noise and figuring that it was probably the mailman, so he can ignore it.

The knocking resumed mere moments later, sounding much more hurried and almost panicked this time. Tsukishima continues to stare at the door, frowning deeply as he slowly starts making his way toward it. The loud knocks never stop, and he ends up just rolling his eyes and yanking the door open.

Yamaguchi is standing there, obviously out of breath and with his hand still midair in the knocking motion. Unfortunately, that means that Tsukishima gets a fist knocked against his chin harshly before he can get the chance to try and close the door on Yamaguchi’s face.

He stumbles back a little bit, wondering faintly how Yamaguchi’s knuckles weren’t bruised to hell if that’s how hard he’s been knocking. A groan of pain leaves him, and he can’t help but look up and glare harshly at the shorter boy. 

“What the  _ hell _ . Was everything else not enough, you have to punch me too?” That was probably a real asshole thing to say, but he couldn’t find it in himself to regret it. Yamaguchi looked shocked for several moments before shaking himself out of it, trying to take a step forward into the house, closer to Tsukishima.

Tsukishima takes his own step forward to block his ex-friend from entering. He doesn’t want to feel trapped in his own home, and he knows that will be the case if he lets Yamaguchi inside right now. “What do you need?”

Yamaguchi stops in his tracks, frowning but not attempting to move any closer. “I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to hit you-”

“Yamaguchi, I’m serious when I tell you that I’m about to just close the door if you don’t get on with it.”

Tsukishima has to duck out of the way when the other boy’s arms start desperately waving around to stop him from doing such a thing. “No! No, please don’t do that, I just need to talk to you.”

The blonde raises an eyebrow, leaning against the doorframe like he wasn’t experiencing more anxiety than he ever has in his life right now. “Then go on, I’m standing right here.”

That only earns him a huff and an exasperated look from Yamaguchi. “Can I come in?”

Tsukishima opens his mouth to deny him access into the house, but stops short when he sees the expression on the other’s face. He looks desperate and almost scared, and when Tsukishima looked closer, he realized that his childhood friend was trying to hide his shaking hands by clenching them into fists.

He lets out a long sigh. “Fine. You get five minutes.”

Yamaguchi perks up when the door is opened wider and he’s let inside, quickly taking his chance and walking past Tsukishima. “I told coach this morning that I wasn’t coming to after school practice, and I was kind of surprised that he let me, but I guess he realized why I wasn’t going.”

Tsukishima was sharply thrown off by the sudden, casual conversation that Yamaguchi was starting up, but manages to keep his face blank. “Yeah.” He has no reason to talk about volleyball, he’s left that behind as of yesterday and he doesn’t regret it at all, no matter what his brain may think about the matter.

They both stand awkwardly in the entrance of the house for a few seconds, before Yamaguchi seems to gather up some kind of courage because he’s the first to speak. 

“It wasn’t my sweater.”

It isn’t what Tsukishima was expecting to be said, and shock is obvious on his face as he blinks slowly, trying to process the words. “What?”

Yamaguchi just seems relieved that he wasn’t instantly shut down. “The sweater that I gave her, it wasn’t mine. I’ve been eating lunch with her since.. Everything happened, and she left it at the table without realizing it. I was just returning it to her.”

If someone had told Tsukishima that his world could’ve gotten thrown off it’s axis even more than it already has been, he would’ve laughed in their face. Yet, this is happening right now. He was opening and closing his mouth, trying and failing to figure out what he wanted to say. His attempts didn’t last long though, because Yamaguchi continued.

“And to answer your questions, I’ll start from the beginning.” Yamaguchi’s voice was shaking and he was obviously nervous, but he pushed on anyway. “I kissed you because I wanted to. I’ve wanted to for a stupidly long time, but right then I just..” He trails off, his face going red as his gaze turns to the floor. “And no, I don’t like Yachi better than you. In fact, I don’t like her at all, not in the way that I like you, at least.”

Tsukishima felt like he had been slapped repeatedly across the face. He could feel his cheeks starting to burn, and there is absolutely no way that this is real life. He’s so caught up in his own shock that he doesn’t notice Yamaguchi stepping closer to him until he feels hands framing his face, making his glasses knock awkwardly against his nose. Tsukishima didn’t mind.

“Can.. can I kiss you?”

It takes Tsukishima several seconds to realize that the question was directed at him, despite the two of them being the only ones here. He doesn’t bother answering, he just leans down and fulfills the request himself.

Objectively, it was just as bad as the first one, truth be told. Their lips were dry and rubbed together almost painfully, their teeth knocking gently together with that initial impact. Not to mention the fact that they both have completely forgotten that kissing typically requires movement, so they end up just sitting there with their lips pressed together.

It was  _ perfect _ .

Yamaguchi pulls away after a few moments, pressing his face against Tsukishima’s shoulder and making a mildly embarrassed noise. Tsukishima was too busy trying to recover from shock to notice how he’d wrapped his arms tightly around the other male. It’s silent for a moment, before Yamaguchi mumbles something that Tsukishima couldn’t hear. “What?”

Yamaguchi leans away, looking up to meet Tsukishima’s eyes with a renewed determination. “Don’t quit.” He doesn’t clarify what he meant, but he didn’t have to. Tsukishima knew that they’re now talking about volleyball, and he gives a small nod instantly, because he really doesn’t have to think that hard about it to know his answer.

“Okay. I won't.”

Tsukishima isn’t sure what this means for them exactly. He  _ is _ sure that Yamaguchi is about to force him into an overly emotional conversation about it, but he’s surprised to find that he doesn’t mind it too much. He’s missed Yamaguchi so much, he’ll take any conversation at all. His empty stomach still wasn’t too happy with him, though.

Tsukishima glances back into the kitchen. “Do you want a sandwich?”

Yamaguchi pauses and looks surprised for a moment, before laughing and smiling just as perfectly as he always does. “Yeah, sure.”

They separate from each other to walk into the kitchen, and Tsukishima has yet another deep and soul-searching line of thought. Investing time and effort into something that isn't a guaranteed success is absolutely pointless. There is no point in bracing for failure on purpose, and Tsukishima will probably stand by that belief for a long time, if not forever. As Yamaguchi insists on making Tsukishima's sandwich to make up for hitting him in the face, beginning to giggle about it halfway through as he reminisces about something that happened no more than three minutes ago, Tsukishima quickly comes to a conclusion; he's not gambling much by allowing this relationship with Yamaguchi to blossom, because he's confident now that this will be far from a failure. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed! I know that Heather is a song about unrequited love, but I turned it into a big, messy misunderstand instead for the sake of a happy ending. Also, I know that there are some things that I didn't address and left open-ended so if you notice any of those, I'm kinda (but not really) sorry. Some things just didn't fit into the timeline of events that I wanted, but based on the feedback and my motivation, I might add onto this story!
> 
> Also, don't be like Tsuki no matter how much you love him- communicate, people!


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